Job hunting? Don’t overlook the toilet paper!

By Dean Thomas Bertrand, GSU Dept. of Business
An effective job interview is, or should always be, proceeded by a candidate finding out as much about the prospective employer as possible.

Search the internet, read trade magazines, ask, ask, ask.

But don’t forget to check the toilet paper in the company washrooms.

It is a proven fact that companies that are trying to cut costs (which could be an indication that they are in financial difficulty) go immediately to a lower grade toilet paper.

Go to your interview with enough lead time to get into the bathroom. No receptionist will deny you the use of their facilities when asked. Go immediately to a stall, pull out a few squares and give the TP the finger test. Now, 1-ply paper is obvious and you can make that determination with a visual examination. But there are different grades of 1-ply TP. See how easy it is push your finger through a square. How many times would you have to fold it over to be able to use it the way is was intended to be used. Then apply the following scale:

2-PLY PLUSH paper that would feel good on any part of your body. This is a company you want to work for. Chances are you’ll discover a lot more perks during the interview process.
2-PLY regular. Probably a good company to work for. May not have as many perks, salary may be slightly lower, but all-in-all a good risk.
1-PLY normal. This represents a company having difficulty but not really on the ropes. Cost-cutting measures have been implemented and your salary may be hard to negotiate upward.
1-PLY that doesn’t pass the finger test. The company is on the ropes. They may ask if you can bring your own stapler. Get out now while you can.

Business Briefs is published bi-weekly as a service of the GSU Business Dept.

Bathroom stories by Maude

By Simply Maude

One of life’s most unusual quirks is what I have come to call “The Bathroom Phenomenon.” I gave it that name many years ago after experiencing it for the first time. It all started innocently enough.
My husband Marvin bought me a new medicine cabinet for our bathroom. It was a simple cabinet and since the bathroom in our new home didn’t have one, I was delighted. Then it all started. In order to install the cabinet, Marvin had to take down the mirror which hung over the vanity. Upon doing so he discovered that when the builder installed the mirror he used a drill with a ¼ inch bit to find the studs behind the wallboard. He wasn’t very good at it and we discovered that he drilled 18 holes before he stuck wood. That meant we had to fill the holes and then paint or wallpaper. We chose wallpaper. When we tried to fasten the new cabinet on the wall we discovered that the light fixture was too low and wouldn’t allow the cabinet to be placed high enough for us to see in the cabinet’s mirror. We moved the fixture hole higher and decided to purchase a new light, since we really didn’t like the current one anyway.
With the new cabinet, light, and wallpaper in place we discovered that the shower curtain didn’t match and our towels and rugs clashed with everything. One little pine medicine cabinet cost about $50. The resulting amenities totaled over $400. Sound familiar?
This has happened a number of times since then, to us and people we know. We have some friends who bought a van a few months ago. After buying it they discovered that it wouldn’t fit in their garage. Not wanting to keep it outside, they decided that a new roll-up garage door would allow the van to fit inside. It didn’t. They then tried to lower the garage floor! Concrete floors don’t lower easily so they rented a concrete grinder and ground the concrete down a couple of inches. This allowed the van to barely get inside for which they were happy until they found out that the van interfered with the main unit of their automatic garage door opener. This meant cutting through a beam, changing the position of the opener, and then reinforcing the beam with steel plates. All of this was not solving the problem satisfactorily so they hired a contractor to reshape the front of their garage, a process which later advisers cautioned may cause the collapse of their second story bedroom. In the middle of all this,
Marvin made a deal with our friends to acquire their old garage door (which was much better than ours) and put it up on our garage. The only trouble here was that the door was too big for our garage. So it took a Saturday afternoon to cut it down to fit and install it. Now that our new door is up, the color of the door and the color of our house clash and since we never liked the color of our house we are getting ready to paint it.
Somewhere in all of this there is a lesson, but Marvin and I have yet to learn it. Maybe if we paint with our eyes closed we won’t notice the holes in the roof.

Oil spill on Goosebury Pond

GOOSEBURY—A gasoline and oil mixture, leaking from a five-gallon can, spilled into Goosebury pond after falling from Elmer Fitswater’s 12-foot aluminum fishing boat in a first-of-a-kind incident in this local community.

Fitswater, who was attempting to refill the tank on his Evinrude outboard motor, accidentally dropped the gas can into the pond. Before the can could be recovered, all five gallons had spilled from the container into the crystal-clear waters of the pond.

The Goosebury Park Patrol, which has jurisdiction over the pond, determined that most of the damage was caused when the gas and oil mixture drifted into the kiddie wading area, causing five year Bobby Broadkin to break out in a rash.

Disciplinary action will be discussed in the next meeting of the city council.

In seemingly related developments, Fred Zimms, owner of Fred’s Supersave Gas-o-mat and Nail Salon immediately raised the price of unleaded gas from $3.89 to $4.29 per gallon in response to the incident.